I’m 34 weeks this week. And let me just say, I am grateful. I hoped and prayed to make it to this milestone, and now that I’m here, I’m thankful. My last checkup my doctor measured my belly and laughed, “You don’t want to know.” He then said, “By all measurements, you’re feeling and measuring about a month overdue.” Ok. How do you actually wrap pregnancy mind, body and soul around measuring a month overdue with a month to go, exactly? Is it just me or is that a bizarre concept to process? I don’t quite have this down, and the battle is equal parts mental, emotional and physical at this point.
I’ve mentioned this casually to family members or close friends, and they’re genuinely so confused thinking, “How is that even possible…” quickly followed with, “But you’re SO close! You’ve got this. You’re in the home stretch.” I will take the encouragement. It certainly beats the other remarks I receive on a daily basis. But home stretch? That insinuates we are basically there. Like so close. Which, we are. Are we?
Have you ever run a marathon? If so, I applaud you. I’ve done halves. And I’ve faded HARD towards the finish. And let me tell you, those last miles are agonizing. And by all means, you’re thinking, “I just ran 11 freaking miles. I’ve got this.” Your brain is playing games and your body is telling you with every step you don’t have this, you’re weak, you’re in pain, stop. You’re passing by onlookers who are holding funny signs and clapping and yelling amazing things like, “You’re so strong! You’re almost there!” and for a second, with a glimmer of optimism and a tiny burst of energy, you believe them, but internally you feel like collapsing, and you’re not sure if you’re going to break a hip, pee, poo, or pass out. But you keep going. That, in summary, is how I feel.
But I keep going. And I know it’ll be worth it. However, in the meantime, I’m definitely doing what I can to get by, and even attempt to enjoy this so-called “home stretch” before the real madness begins. Here’s what I’ve found helpful to push me towards the finish.
- Positivity and Gratitude.
This is cliche, but this is so real. Small positive affirmations, little pick-me-ups, and realizing that though this isn’t comfortable or easy, it is a gift. Wow, what a huge gift. And how amazing are our bodies that we can actually do this?! Be grateful. Your body is growing two miracles.
2. Humor and Sarcasm.
Maybe this isn’t for everyone, but I have a very self-deprecating sense of humor, and sometimes it just works to laugh at myself. If I didn’t laugh, I’d cry! I choose laughter. This journey is craziness! Learn to laugh easily. I cough and pee. I stand up and grunt. I walk to the refrigerator and need to catch my breath. I wipe off our kitchen counters and have sweat marks. It’s ridiculous, and therefore I make funny sounds and tell my family our home is open for whale watching. Do what gets you through.
3. Celebrating small accomplishments
I made a little list and got a few things done! YAY ME. I went out to run an errand and found I had actually stashed a sufficient amount of Tums in my purse! YAY ME. I’m caught up on thank you notes. I made some protein balls the other day. My ankles didn’t swell today, and it’s 90 degrees. I remembered my best friend’s birthday and shipped a gift on time. We had a fun family dinner at Chick Fil A. I washed the crib sheets. I watched the Today Show with my legs up. I actually removed a giant ketchup stain out of my daughter’s favorite dress. I cleaned the bottles. YES. Let’s do this. Feeling accomplished, prepared and rested will absolutely drive you forward. Small steps are still steps.
4. Accepting help.
This has been a difficult concept for me to grasp, as I immediately fall into a huge “I owe you” or “Why can’t I do this on my own?” guilty mentality. But people care, and I love and appreciate them for it. I’ve slowly realized that true friends and good people don’t offer with any sort of expectation in return. When they are genuine, there aren’t strings attached. So yes, I have people watching my toddlers because I can’t keep up, and a friend offered to bring a meal tonight, and my husband is doing nearly everything at home, and the list goes on. I’m lucky. I’m surrounded by a small army of caretakers of family and dear friends. And the need to accept help will only amplify once these little ones are born so for now, I choose to humbly, graciously and gratefully accept, and I know it’ll be my turn to give back someday, and I’ll do so gratefully.
5. Letting go of other people’s expectations and remarks.
I’m working on this. Let’s just say it’s ongoing. But realizing that other moms’ issues are their issues, not mine, has been cathartic. So much of life is outward-focused. And for this, I choose to focus inward. On my children. On my marriage. On my tribe. On me. And if those are good, then I’ve realized those outward stressors aren’t mine to worry about. They aren’t mine at all. Moms can be mean! And judgy. And comparative. And competitive. And you know what?! My F* tank doesn’t have room for that petty stuff. They must be bored, and I’m certainly not.
6. Water
I’m terrible at staying hydrated, but I notice a HUGE difference on days I’ve stuck to it versus days I haven’t. Hydration is imperative in this stage of pregnancy and actually helps cut down on swelling. So, I have 1 Liter bottles to help me visibly keep track of intake, a cute stainless steel water bottle, and some mint, cucumber and fruit on hand to make my version of “spa water” which sure helps fake me out into thinking this is actually fun and peeing every 25 minutes is no big deal.
7. Pools, Pillows and Pills
This sounds like I have a problem. I might. I got in a pool in this crazy summer heat the other day, and it was amazing. All my doctors have recommended it, and that feeling of weightlessness as I stuffed pool noodles all around me and dangled my legs felt heavenly. My husband snapped a picture and wow, what a sight! Thankfully, we have gracious friends and relatives with a pool. If you’re able, I highly recommend. I also “sleep” with an exorbitant amount of pillows at night (does anyone sleep well at this point?!) to ease the pressure points and rely daily on a handful of pills for both me and the babies’ wellbeing consisting of a prenatal, iron, folic acid, allergy, and heartburn pill.
8. Treats
Yes, I’ve been doing a little indulging. Nothing crazy, but little things can make a big difference. Like the dark chocolate mint creams from Trader Joes stashed in our refrigerator. A tall half-caff flat white from Starbucks on occasion. A prenatal massage. A pedicure. These aren’t daily or even weekly occurrences, but I try to do what makes me happy. I’ve spent some time catching up with friends knowing I’ll be hibernating for awhile after the twins’ arrival. I’m going to the Farmer’s Market this weekend to get local strawberries. I ordered the twins’ “going home” outfits from the hospital and everything seemed a little more real, which gave me joy. Each “little thing” adds up, and it adds joy in big ways. You are doing a great job. Gift yourself a little joy.
So, there it is. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. And this is why we need to stick together, because only we can understand the mixed emotions and mental, physical and emotional battle that accompanies this juxtaposition of “a month overdue with a month to go.” This is what is helping me, and I’m curious – Can you relate?! What is helping you or what did help you?
