People are genuinely enamored with twins. And somewhere within the infatuation lies a little cocktail of mixed reactions towards a mama embarking on the twin journey – personal questions (“Are they natural? Was this planned?”), playful sarcasm (“Better you than me!”), obvious facts (“You’re going to have your hands full! Better sleep now!”), and a desire to do something about it (“Let me know how I can help! Call me.”) Well let me tell you, there is so much going on in our heads and hearts and hands that the likelihood of us being able to nail down a single specific task out of the
hundreds spinning around in our minds, and then actually humbly and gratefully call you to ask for help, is quite frankly, not helpful. So for all of you wondering, how can I help? What can I do? What does she need? Here you go. And thanks in advance, from a twin mom who knows how much another will appreciate you. x
- Offer words of encouragement.
Easy right?! And free. This may sound so mundane, but honestly, it means the world. Something as simple as, “I don’t know how you’re doing it! You’re doing great.” Or “It will get better. You are doing a better job than you know!” What people often don’t realize or see is that twin moms get a lot of weird comments. And sarcasm. And personal remarks. And guilt. And gossip. And this just adds to the already overwhelming task of twindom. So be positive. Be supportive. Be encouraging.
- Bring a meal.
This doesn’t have to be anything fancy. This can be Panera. This can be Chick Fil A. I’m telling you, just text and say, “I’m bringing you dinner this week! What night is best?” And I guaran-flipping-tee you won’t be turned down. One of the best gifts we received was an abundant supply of breakfast burritos that turned into on-the-go and middle of the night snacks. I now make them for all my new mom friends.
- Be specific and sincere on 1 simple task.
Can you watch the babies for 2 hours so the mom can catch a nap or get some laundry done? Can you grab groceries on Friday? Could you bring coffee? Could you accompany the mom to the next pediatrician appointment so she’s not wrangling 2 infants by herself? Could you take other kids for a play date or outing? Whatever fits into your busy schedule, just offer. And be specific. New moms often don’t even realize what they need.
- Drop off a practical, consumable gift.
Coffee. Laundry detergent. Diapers. Wipes. Stain remover. Hand sanitizer. Diaper bag essentials. Healthy snacks. Onesies in bigger sizes. Baby lotion. Wine. Chances are, the new mom needs all of it and would appreciate any thoughtful gesture with a quick note to let her know you’re thinking about her.
- Don’t forget to check in after a few months.
Yes, infant twins are the ultimate physical, emotional and mental challenge. But even after you see new twin parents come out of hibernation and look seemingly put together with their cute new family, challenges remain. It starts to become the best yet hardest and most exhausting phase of feeling like a Queen one day and absolutely lost the next. A simple check in, text, card, and small gesture will give any twin mom the extra shot of optimism she needs to tackle the next task ahead.
